While living in West Springfield, I became pregnant and I was so excited! Growing up when I did, it was expected that one would get married and within 2 years have a child, settle down, have another and so it goes. Women were not really in the workplace; they were in the home. It was the 1960's and those of us who had graduated from college were secretaries, dental hygienists, nurses, or teachers. Other options were not really talked about; after all, if we chose one of the aforementioned ones and wanted to continue in one of those professions, we could do the job part time and still have time to be at home with our kids. How times have changed! Also, if you were a teacher, you were not allowed to teach once your pregnancy started to show. Unreal!! I mean did they think kids didn't know how one got pregnant or had never seen a pregnant woman before! But whatever...that was the deal so I left my teaching job just before the Thanksgiving holiday. The students threw me a party and gave me a beautiful bathrobe and slippers. Actually, being finished with teaching did give me the opportunity to fix up the baby's room. Back then,m we did not have the option of knowing if we were having a boy or a girl, so I decided to use neutral colors. I made ducks out of cardboard and all the ducks were dressed differently. Then, I adhered them to the wall and had them going around the perimeter of the room. I made a blanket for the bed, curtains for the window, b out sheets and bumpers for the crib and was all set to go! The nursery looked adorable! The baby was due the end of April, but in the wee hours of April 7 I knew it was time. My water broke, I called to Michael, who naturally being the calm, neat person decided he would go shower and shave first. After all, he had to look good as the new father! So I waited. Once in the hospital, things happened quickly and along came Andrew Jay after about an hour! What an easy time I had! He was little and wiry. To me, he was beautiful and I felt as if I were the only person in the world to have given birth and to have become a mom! Once in my room ( we did not have babies in our rooms, but were in lab or rooms and then moved), I looked outside and was shocked to see it was snowing! I stayed in the hospital for 3 days and spent my time looking adoringly at Andy and nursing him. Andy was named for Michael's dad, Aaron Jacob. Once home, I had a baby nurse named Mrs. Wheatley. She stayed for two weeks and showed me how to care for the baby. I had just turned 24. Most gals my age all had baby nurses to show them the ropes. My folks would come visit as would my in-laws, but they did not stay to take care of Andy. During the 60s, most gals did not nurse. Most used formula. But I wanted to nurse, I wanted to feel the closeness of my child and experience what nature had intended. Our dog, Farfel, was incredible. He took ownership of Andy. Always by his side, Farfel would stand guard over Andy. When I would put Andy in a carriage. Farfel would be there and lie down right nest to the carriage. By the fall, Mike and I decided that we would like to own our own home and move to Longmeadow where many of our friends lived. I took my retirement money from teaching and with some help from my parents, too, Mike and I purchased a home on 228 Bel-Air Drive. We still live in the same home today. Actually, the house had some drawbacks. It was a raised ranch with a really tiny kitchen, the family room was in the basement, there was no basement for storage and the bedrooms were not large, but the street was lovely and the neighborhood was filled with young families. The good news was that we bought it from the owner so the price was right. Today one could not buy a car for what we paid for the house!!!! Over the years, we have added on to the house and now it is quite comfortable. I would not consider moving anywhere else since this home is filled with the memories of my family. I have just to close my eyes and I can picture them all interacting! We settled in and soon I was pregnant again. In January of 1970, Jonathan Alan Cohen was born. This guy was 3 weeks early, weighed about 5 1/2 pounds and was born in 20 minutes time! Unlike Andy, he was fair and not as wiry. Andy was thrilled to have a brother! We had to wait to have the Bris for Jonathan since he did not weigh enough, but after 10 days we were able to hold it and we named him for both of my grandmothers- Lena Cohen and Fannie Simons. As you can tell, we just used the Hebrew names! At the time I did not even realize that Jon's and Andy's initials were reversed - JA and AJ!!!
Andy seemed very bright and very energetic, so although he was not quite 3, I decided to send him to a little nursery school, Tiki Tak Academy for Tiny Tots. Located in a woman's basement in East Longmeadow, it was small, very nurturing and opened up new vistas for Andy. He thrived there and enjoyed going.
Once Jon was older, I became bored just staying home. I was active in some organizations - Council, the Mr. and Mrs. Club at the Jewish Home, AMD, and our Temple, but I needed more stimulation, so I decided to do some substitute teaching, I loved the kids, but I did not enjoy subbing since I was never sure when I would be called. I did decide to return to school and went to Springfield College to obtain a master's degree in Guidance and Psychological Services. I would go several afternoons a week and a babysitter would come in to watch the boys. I found the studying and learning to be stimulating.
Jon, a very active and smart little man, was in nursery school and Andy was in kindergarten. Having some urinary problems, Andy would double over in pain and after taking him to specialists, it was determined that he needed to have a ureter re implanted. Luckily for us, the doctor whom everyone suggested was in our own backyard, right here in Springfield. Dr. Verilli was truly a find. Kind, bright, compassionate and skillful, he was an excellent doctor. Andy had the surgery at Springield Hospital and missed about 2 weeks of school. He recuperated beautifully but I found the whole deal to be very traumatic. Thank goodness my little guy was free of pain and healthy!!!
The boys were very active, played well together and fought well together. I remember driving in the car ( no one sat in car seats) and I would draw an imaginary line down the middle of the backseat and tell them not to cross the line!!! When I wasn't looking, Andy would give Jon a little poke, just a little one but enough to egg him on and then of course, he would put an angelic look on his face as if to say,"I have no idea why Jon is complaining...I didn't do anything!"
So, one might think with the fish, the dog, two kids, and my husband, my family was complete, but I didn't think so. I still wanted another child. Actually, I wanted 6 but I had already had miscarriages and the doctor didn't think I would have another child. Was he wrong!!! Along came Daniel Walter Cohen on August 22, 1976. I don't know what excited the boys more - the fact that they had a new brother or that he was born on Carl Yastremski's birthday!!! Dan came 3 weeks early, but he was the biggest of the 3 - weighing in at over 6 1/2 pounds!!! Both boys came with Mike to take us home from the hospital. I put Danny in Andy's arms and he carried him as Michael drove home. Imagine that happening today!!!Before Danny was born, I had taken a teaching job as an Assistant Professor of English at American International College. So, after he was born, I would simply take Dan in his infant seat with me to the college, prop him on the desk and teach. He was an easy baby and I schlepped him everywhere! I had no option. The other two were 6 and 81/2 so they had things to do and places to go. Danny's nap time was often in the car bed that was placed in the back of the car. Today that would never be allowed!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
UPenn, Mike, Marriage, Graduation
UPenn was a fun place, made more so by the fact that I was dating Michael Cohen who happened to be stationed at Fort Dix. So, Mike would come in to visit me most weekend. That sort of hampered my meeting anyone else, but that was exactly his reasoning!!! Since he was in the Army and had little money, I would write a check for cash, get some money, give it to
Mike and we would spend a great weekend together. That is until my dad got some of the cancelled checks. Being a savvy guy, he quickly wrote me a note that simply said, "Who is cash?" I remember one weekend when I drove Michael back to the base and for whatever reason drove his car back to Penn. He had a convertible, the top was down, and I had a glorious time. I parked the car right near my dorm, the Women's Residence (you can tell this was back in the boonies...yes the sexes were separated, at least according to the college's sleeping policy!). I was unable to put the top up. Later that evening I heard rain puring down. bunch of my dormmates and I ran outside to the car with towels in hand and did the best we could to bail it out! In the morning, with windshield wipers moving back and forth, the top down, and me at the wheel, I quickly drove the car through the streets of Philly until I came to a garage. As I entered the lot and stopped the car, an attendant came up to me and said, "I think you have a problem." Wow, what insight he had!!! Well, we both laughed. I know he felt sorry for me as I shared with him my tale of woe, so he took my car in and fixed it for nothing!!! Yes, I was a poor damsel in distress and he recognized that! Mike told me if he were the one who had been driving the car and had brought it into the same garage he would have been charged! In November, I was in Psychology class and the professor became very somber. He went up to the board, his eyes were glistening and he simply wrote, without saying a word, class is dismissed. As we all herded out, we wondered what was happening. As we neared the courtyard we heard people saying that President Kennedy had been shot! We huddled together. There was aloud speaker spouting the news and we all listened, clearly agitated. I called Michael at the base. Everything had been suspended there, too. In fact, it seemed as if time, itself, were suspended. Mike drove to Penn and together with others we sat glued to the television set, numbed by the facts we were hearing. Many of us, including me, ran to the telephones in the hallway to make calls to our parents. There were no cell phones We needed to reach out, to make sure our loved ones were okay. My folks and I talked for a bit and then Mike and I just sat together. That was a day I will never forget, a day that engraved itself in my mind, heart and soul.
While at Penn, I was asked to join a sorority, but I declined. Mike and I continued to date and in May we became engaged. I decided to leave Penn, Mike would be out of the Army, and we would be married the following February. Looking back, I should have completed my studies at Penn, but I was anxious to get on with my life with Michael and probably, subconsciously, to stop studying so much, settle down, and begin a new chapter in my life. My dormmates threw me a farewell/engagement party.
I enrolled at AIC to finish my degree. Actually, I liked the school. I had been there before and did know some of the students and professors. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful English teacher, Dr. Birnbaum, who really brought English to life for me and helped me hone my reading and writing skills. I am forever indebted to him. Years later, I returned to AIC as an Assistant Professor and worked under Dr. Birnbaum who was then a Dean.
On February 6, 1965, after a terrible snowstorm, Mike and I got married at Sinai Temple and had a lovely dinner reception at the Crestview Country Club. Thinking back, I realize that I did not plan anything. My mother took complete charge. She even took me to a place for wedding gowns and chose the one she liked. Even the colors of the wedding were her choosing - orange and gold. The bridesmaids wore gold colored gowns.Actually, I found them to be garish, but I was young, I was malleable, and I listened to my mother and she made the decisions. She told me what to do and I followed. How different from my own children!! The wedding pictures were all black and white. Mother thought they would be more dramatic. I miss seeing the color.
Michael and I honeymooned in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. We had a wonderful time. Then, it was back home to school and our apartment on 80 Brush Hill Ave. in West Springfield, MA. I started student teaching in West Springfield in the 6th grade at Tatham School. My supervising teacher was a real witch, Mrs. Smith. But when the going got rough, Mike buoyed my spirits and I survived. By April, I knew I wanted a dog. Not a lover of dogs, but a lover of me, Mike acquiesced! We bought our first dog, a loveable mutt, in Westfield and named him Farfel. He was an awesome dog, stubborn, I thought beautiful, and very mischievous. We bonded immediately! Whenever we would go somewhere, Farfel would go with us. My folks were not dog lovers - when I was a young child, we had a dog, Pal, and he lasted only a couple of months, much to my brother's chagrin. Anyway, they mellowed with Farfel and he was allowed to visit with us. One day, I let Farfel out. There were no leash laws, or if there were, I paid no attention to them! The day progressed, I would call for Farfel, but he never answered my call. That night, I unhappily got into bed, thinking that Farfel was lost forever. In the morning, the telephone rang. It was my mother. "Judy, you won't believe this, but when we went to open our front door, there sat Farfel!" I was incredulous...how he ever made it across the river from West Springfield to Longmeadow will forever remain a mystery, but he was safe and that was all that mattered. Farfel graced our household for 16 years, getting into trouble along the way. He would sniff out every dog in heat and travel from our home in Longmeadow across the border into Enfield, CT where he would be picked up, brought to a pound and Mike would have to go and get him.
At first we lived in a one bedroom apartment with an enormous fish tank. How Michael loved his tropical fish. Since he was in the Army Reserves, he had to go to summer camp for 2 weeks and left me in charge of his fish. One day, as I entered our apartment, I knew I smelled something that was not right. Looking into the fish tank, I saw all the fish floating belly up on the top. They had been fried! Evidently something had happened to the heater. What could I do? Hastily, I picked up the phone and called Fort Devens. I said his number ER 11404556 (I still remember it!!!) and told them that I had to speak to my husband immediately, that there had been a death in the family! Well, indredibly they sent Michael home!!!
Mike and we would spend a great weekend together. That is until my dad got some of the cancelled checks. Being a savvy guy, he quickly wrote me a note that simply said, "Who is cash?" I remember one weekend when I drove Michael back to the base and for whatever reason drove his car back to Penn. He had a convertible, the top was down, and I had a glorious time. I parked the car right near my dorm, the Women's Residence (you can tell this was back in the boonies...yes the sexes were separated, at least according to the college's sleeping policy!). I was unable to put the top up. Later that evening I heard rain puring down. bunch of my dormmates and I ran outside to the car with towels in hand and did the best we could to bail it out! In the morning, with windshield wipers moving back and forth, the top down, and me at the wheel, I quickly drove the car through the streets of Philly until I came to a garage. As I entered the lot and stopped the car, an attendant came up to me and said, "I think you have a problem." Wow, what insight he had!!! Well, we both laughed. I know he felt sorry for me as I shared with him my tale of woe, so he took my car in and fixed it for nothing!!! Yes, I was a poor damsel in distress and he recognized that! Mike told me if he were the one who had been driving the car and had brought it into the same garage he would have been charged! In November, I was in Psychology class and the professor became very somber. He went up to the board, his eyes were glistening and he simply wrote, without saying a word, class is dismissed. As we all herded out, we wondered what was happening. As we neared the courtyard we heard people saying that President Kennedy had been shot! We huddled together. There was aloud speaker spouting the news and we all listened, clearly agitated. I called Michael at the base. Everything had been suspended there, too. In fact, it seemed as if time, itself, were suspended. Mike drove to Penn and together with others we sat glued to the television set, numbed by the facts we were hearing. Many of us, including me, ran to the telephones in the hallway to make calls to our parents. There were no cell phones We needed to reach out, to make sure our loved ones were okay. My folks and I talked for a bit and then Mike and I just sat together. That was a day I will never forget, a day that engraved itself in my mind, heart and soul.
While at Penn, I was asked to join a sorority, but I declined. Mike and I continued to date and in May we became engaged. I decided to leave Penn, Mike would be out of the Army, and we would be married the following February. Looking back, I should have completed my studies at Penn, but I was anxious to get on with my life with Michael and probably, subconsciously, to stop studying so much, settle down, and begin a new chapter in my life. My dormmates threw me a farewell/engagement party.
I enrolled at AIC to finish my degree. Actually, I liked the school. I had been there before and did know some of the students and professors. I was very fortunate to have a wonderful English teacher, Dr. Birnbaum, who really brought English to life for me and helped me hone my reading and writing skills. I am forever indebted to him. Years later, I returned to AIC as an Assistant Professor and worked under Dr. Birnbaum who was then a Dean.
On February 6, 1965, after a terrible snowstorm, Mike and I got married at Sinai Temple and had a lovely dinner reception at the Crestview Country Club. Thinking back, I realize that I did not plan anything. My mother took complete charge. She even took me to a place for wedding gowns and chose the one she liked. Even the colors of the wedding were her choosing - orange and gold. The bridesmaids wore gold colored gowns.Actually, I found them to be garish, but I was young, I was malleable, and I listened to my mother and she made the decisions. She told me what to do and I followed. How different from my own children!! The wedding pictures were all black and white. Mother thought they would be more dramatic. I miss seeing the color.
Michael and I honeymooned in Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands. We had a wonderful time. Then, it was back home to school and our apartment on 80 Brush Hill Ave. in West Springfield, MA. I started student teaching in West Springfield in the 6th grade at Tatham School. My supervising teacher was a real witch, Mrs. Smith. But when the going got rough, Mike buoyed my spirits and I survived. By April, I knew I wanted a dog. Not a lover of dogs, but a lover of me, Mike acquiesced! We bought our first dog, a loveable mutt, in Westfield and named him Farfel. He was an awesome dog, stubborn, I thought beautiful, and very mischievous. We bonded immediately! Whenever we would go somewhere, Farfel would go with us. My folks were not dog lovers - when I was a young child, we had a dog, Pal, and he lasted only a couple of months, much to my brother's chagrin. Anyway, they mellowed with Farfel and he was allowed to visit with us. One day, I let Farfel out. There were no leash laws, or if there were, I paid no attention to them! The day progressed, I would call for Farfel, but he never answered my call. That night, I unhappily got into bed, thinking that Farfel was lost forever. In the morning, the telephone rang. It was my mother. "Judy, you won't believe this, but when we went to open our front door, there sat Farfel!" I was incredulous...how he ever made it across the river from West Springfield to Longmeadow will forever remain a mystery, but he was safe and that was all that mattered. Farfel graced our household for 16 years, getting into trouble along the way. He would sniff out every dog in heat and travel from our home in Longmeadow across the border into Enfield, CT where he would be picked up, brought to a pound and Mike would have to go and get him.
At first we lived in a one bedroom apartment with an enormous fish tank. How Michael loved his tropical fish. Since he was in the Army Reserves, he had to go to summer camp for 2 weeks and left me in charge of his fish. One day, as I entered our apartment, I knew I smelled something that was not right. Looking into the fish tank, I saw all the fish floating belly up on the top. They had been fried! Evidently something had happened to the heater. What could I do? Hastily, I picked up the phone and called Fort Devens. I said his number ER 11404556 (I still remember it!!!) and told them that I had to speak to my husband immediately, that there had been a death in the family! Well, indredibly they sent Michael home!!!
Friday, September 19, 2008
From Junior High to High School
In 9th Grade, I entered LHS - Longmeadow High School, home of the Lancers. I became less outgoing. I did not fool around as much. It was not ladylike to do so and Mother wanted me to act like a lady! Inwardly, I still wanted to be a tomboy, climb trees, hitch rides, bum a ride on the milk truck and just have my kind of fun. Most of my friends were still in Springfield and I used to wish that we, too, lived there. But I was in high school and would make the best of it. My brother was a senior, but we did not really mingle, although I did know his friends. I became active in several clubs and even participated in a ping pong tournament and was a winner! I really don't look back that fondly on my high school days; I think I was too busy studying, trying to get good grades to please my parents, rather than just having a lot of fun. Perhaps that is why as a parent I welcomed the opportunity for my kids to participate in many activities and to have many friends. At the end of my sophomore year, my folks decided I should apply to and go to MacDuffie to finish up my schooling. Amazingly, looking back I really don't remember having a say in this decision. It was just decided that I should go and I went. In those days, MacDuffie was a highly sought after school; it was all girls and very rigorous. I was accepted and spent my last two years of high school there, studying, studying and studying!!! It was much harder than public school. In those days, the boarders were the ones who truly felt connected to the school; the dayhops, the ones who commuted, were not. Right after school, we would get into a car and go home, so we really were not active in anything that took place after school. My memories of those two years are rather dim ones; maybe that is because I didn't choose to dwell on them. In the summer after my junior year, I went to Switzerland with a friend of mine from Springfield, Sunny Blum. We stayed in Neuchatel and later in Gstaad and had a wonderful time! The girls were from all over the world and French was our common language. I had an amazing time. The only problem was that I lived on apples and water and came back home about 20 pounds thinner. Today they probably would have said that i was anorexic, but in those days, who knew? I thought I looked great, but later when I looked at some of the pictures of me, I realized just how thin I looked. When I arrived home and we sat down to dinner, my father slammed his fist on the table, looked at me and implored, "You shall eat!" ...and eat I did...who wanted his wrath visited upon me? During my senior year, I became quite ill with mono and was confined to bed for about 9 weeks!!! I did manage to finish up the school year and did okay and finished graduating near the top of my class. I remember I would study so hard to catch up that one day my mother came into my room, opened up one of my windows and threw all of my book out into the snow!!! Interestingly, when I think about it, I realize that I felt so much closer with the kids with whom I attended public school than with those from MacDuffie. Just recently, I had occasion to visit some of my Longmeadow High classmates and had a delightful time. The years just slipped away!
During my high school years, I don't remember communicating that much with my parents. My mother was busy with social events, playing bridge, sisterhood meetings at the temple and congregating with her friends. Sometimes, my mother and I would go shopping. We would travel to Connecticut to go to Loehmanns or go downtown to Steigers, the Arkay Shop, Peerless, Muriels or Forbes and Wallace. Upstairs in Forbes and Wallace was the Halls Gallery, where we would have lunch. Everyone was well dressed. You would never find anyone in slacks or jeans (dungarees in those days!). Actually, sometimes I would take the bus and go downtown with my girlfriends. I remember going to the Frances Shop, where I had sleepers put on my ears so that I would have pierced ears. The sleepers would stay on my ears for many days until they eventually made holes.
My dad was a workaholic and was usually either at work or on the phone at home. Invariably, my dad would come home late for dinner and my mother would not be happy. She would sit in the den, in a rocking chair and do her knitting and crocheting. When my father did arrive,it was then I would emerge from upstairs, join them at the table and have dinner. During the weekends, I hung out with some friends. My folks, brother and I did not really take family day trips; instead,we would take major ones during April vacation. I used to look with envy at my friends and neighbors who would be busy with their parents on weekends. They would go skiing, perhaps play golf, or engage in some other type of activity. Each day of the weekend, my dad would leave and go to play golf with his friends. He and my mother belonged to Crestview Country Club and that became their social hangout. It was not until I was a married woman that I really established a relationship with my folks. Maybe they were just more comfortable with adult children; who knows?
While in high school, I was asked to join a sorority - it was the popular sorority, Iota Phi. Looking back I remember how ridiculous it was! The pledgees wore little ribbons to signify they were not yet inducted into the group and they had to pay homage to those who were. We met in the basements of people's homes and had to memorize our creed. If we didn't do something that was asked of us, we would get demerits. I still remember when I was a bonafide member and different names of gals were brought up to be considered for induction. Those gals were verbally torn apart and some were blackballed and prevented from joining. They were not at those meetings, but certainly found out later and feelings were hurt and hearts were broken.It was at that point that I decided to drop out of the sorority. To this day, women still talk about their not being asked to join and so they joined a different sorority. There were so many cliques back then! I still remember the fraternities and sororities would have dances and it was very important to one's identity to be asked. Of course most of the members lived in Springfield so they knew each other quite well. But since I was in a sorority, I did mingle with those kids.
When I was in 10th grade, my brother went off to college. Recently I asked him why he chose to go to Western reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. Not that it was a bad school; it's just that there were so many closer to home. He told me that he had no say in the matter. My dad had heard about the school, it was a good school with a nice reputation, it did not cost that much to attend,and we had cousins in the area. So my brother applied there and was accepted. Actually, Jeff is and was extremely bright so I am sure he would have gotten into many other schools if he had applied. I did go to Cleveland, visited my brother and went on a date with one of his friends, Lou. I had a marvelous time!
When I was ready to apply to colleges, it was decided that I should apply to Chatham College, a small private girls' school in Pittsburgh, PA. My folks really wanted me to go to an all girls school. I really don't remember thinking too much about it. They told me it was a great place, we had cousins in the area, our headmaster liked it, so to Chatham I went. I gotta say that it was a horrible experience! The girls were not very welcoming; they were very "Junior Leaguish" and I did not feel comfortable. Socially, though, I was invited out by our brother school, Washington and Jefferson and attended many fraternity parties. While at Chatham, I became ill, landed in the hospital and eventully left school. I had surgery in Boston, finished my year at AIC and then transferred to the University of Pennsylvania where I was very happy.
During my high school years, I don't remember communicating that much with my parents. My mother was busy with social events, playing bridge, sisterhood meetings at the temple and congregating with her friends. Sometimes, my mother and I would go shopping. We would travel to Connecticut to go to Loehmanns or go downtown to Steigers, the Arkay Shop, Peerless, Muriels or Forbes and Wallace. Upstairs in Forbes and Wallace was the Halls Gallery, where we would have lunch. Everyone was well dressed. You would never find anyone in slacks or jeans (dungarees in those days!). Actually, sometimes I would take the bus and go downtown with my girlfriends. I remember going to the Frances Shop, where I had sleepers put on my ears so that I would have pierced ears. The sleepers would stay on my ears for many days until they eventually made holes.
My dad was a workaholic and was usually either at work or on the phone at home. Invariably, my dad would come home late for dinner and my mother would not be happy. She would sit in the den, in a rocking chair and do her knitting and crocheting. When my father did arrive,it was then I would emerge from upstairs, join them at the table and have dinner. During the weekends, I hung out with some friends. My folks, brother and I did not really take family day trips; instead,we would take major ones during April vacation. I used to look with envy at my friends and neighbors who would be busy with their parents on weekends. They would go skiing, perhaps play golf, or engage in some other type of activity. Each day of the weekend, my dad would leave and go to play golf with his friends. He and my mother belonged to Crestview Country Club and that became their social hangout. It was not until I was a married woman that I really established a relationship with my folks. Maybe they were just more comfortable with adult children; who knows?
While in high school, I was asked to join a sorority - it was the popular sorority, Iota Phi. Looking back I remember how ridiculous it was! The pledgees wore little ribbons to signify they were not yet inducted into the group and they had to pay homage to those who were. We met in the basements of people's homes and had to memorize our creed. If we didn't do something that was asked of us, we would get demerits. I still remember when I was a bonafide member and different names of gals were brought up to be considered for induction. Those gals were verbally torn apart and some were blackballed and prevented from joining. They were not at those meetings, but certainly found out later and feelings were hurt and hearts were broken.It was at that point that I decided to drop out of the sorority. To this day, women still talk about their not being asked to join and so they joined a different sorority. There were so many cliques back then! I still remember the fraternities and sororities would have dances and it was very important to one's identity to be asked. Of course most of the members lived in Springfield so they knew each other quite well. But since I was in a sorority, I did mingle with those kids.
When I was in 10th grade, my brother went off to college. Recently I asked him why he chose to go to Western reserve University in Cleveland, Ohio. Not that it was a bad school; it's just that there were so many closer to home. He told me that he had no say in the matter. My dad had heard about the school, it was a good school with a nice reputation, it did not cost that much to attend,and we had cousins in the area. So my brother applied there and was accepted. Actually, Jeff is and was extremely bright so I am sure he would have gotten into many other schools if he had applied. I did go to Cleveland, visited my brother and went on a date with one of his friends, Lou. I had a marvelous time!
When I was ready to apply to colleges, it was decided that I should apply to Chatham College, a small private girls' school in Pittsburgh, PA. My folks really wanted me to go to an all girls school. I really don't remember thinking too much about it. They told me it was a great place, we had cousins in the area, our headmaster liked it, so to Chatham I went. I gotta say that it was a horrible experience! The girls were not very welcoming; they were very "Junior Leaguish" and I did not feel comfortable. Socially, though, I was invited out by our brother school, Washington and Jefferson and attended many fraternity parties. While at Chatham, I became ill, landed in the hospital and eventully left school. I had surgery in Boston, finished my year at AIC and then transferred to the University of Pennsylvania where I was very happy.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Moving to Longmeadow- elementary and junior high
When we lived on Woodlawn Street in Springfield, MA, I was very young and not even aware of different religions. However, when we moved to Longmeadow, MA, my Jewishness became apparent. At that time, in the early 50's, there were hardly any Jews living in Longmeadow. Actually, some streets, country clubs, and other organizations were off-bounds for Jews. It was during this time that I began to realize that I was different. During the Christmas season, I looked with longing at the decorations hung in my friends' homes and in the public schools. Back then, the schools were heavily decorated for the season and Christmas carols filled the air! I was part of the group, yet apart from it.
Elementary schools were different from the elementary schools today. No one got bussed; we all trudged along unless the weather was very inclement and then our parents would drive us. Everyone went home for lunch. I remember hurrying home so I could watch "Love of "I Remember Mama" was one of my favorite shows that I would watch religiously. Most mothers did not work so there was no need to have children eat lunch in school. During our recesses, the girls would play hopscotch, jump rope or perhaps marbles with the boys. Girls did not wear long pants to school. Dresses and skirts were expected and donned. In each classroom, there were different level reading groups, but otherwise everyone learned together. No one had a calculator to use. Mathematical facts were taught by rote. The teacher would stand in front of the class with flash cards and we would quickly shout out the answer. Math games were played and we all became quite proficient with addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. In addition to the major subjects, we had gym, art and penmanship. A woman would come into our classroom one day a week to teach us how to write correctly! I still remember it was called the Reinhart Method and the woman would stand at the chalk board and show us exactly how to cursively construct each letter. Besides these classes, we also had banking. When I was in 5th grade, I was asked to be a teller; the students would come with their money and bankbooks and I would make sure the appropriate amounts were recorded in their books. When I was in 5th and 6th grade, I participated on a basketball team. In those days, the girls could only run half court and when I would take out the ball, I would have to put one foot up against the wall.
I would invite some friend over to play after school or I would go to their homes. At times we would havesleepovers. I remember once my mother made sleeping hats for all the girls and we all slept downstairs in the finsished basement! Many times I would sleep at my friend, Bab's home. Babs and I were good friends. She was Jewish, too, so we shared traditions. Each morning she would meet me at the top of my street and we would ride our bikes to school together. We are still in touch with each other.
After spending 3rd through 6th grades at Converse Street School, I went to Longmeadow Junior High School. During those years, I remember with dismay Mr. Ryder's Dancing School. I mean you just had to be a member of it or you were nothing...and truth be told, I couldn't be a member. I was Jewish and Jewish children were not invited! Well, for whatever reason, a few of us Jews were finally allowed into the hallowed ranks. I remember feeling so included. After all, I was only 12 and at 12 one needed to belong. Actually, I still rember those dancing classes. The girls would be all dressed up and wear gloves. The boys would wear suits. The girls would stand on one side of the room and the boys on the other. Then, the boys would come over and ask one of the girls to dance. It was actually unnerving to stand there and wonder if anyone were going to pick you! Junior High consisted of 7th and 8th grades. Unlike elementary school, we had a homeroom and then we would go to different teachers for our various subjects. When I was in 8th grade, they had a special division called Divsion 8-4 to which I was invited. Students in that division were handpicked and the work was accelerated. School was probably about 2 miles from my house; there were no busses so I walked. I played the accordian (not well) in the band and I remember carrying it to school and home even in inclement weather! During those years, the Jewish people "ghettoized" themselves so many of my friends still lived in Springfield and most of us would congregate at the Jewish Community Center. A group of gals formed a club called the QTPies. We had little beanies that were yellow and gold and met at the Center. Since I attended religious school at Sinai Temple, I made many friendships there. It was at religious school and at the Center that I felt I was in a safe haven. There I was just me; there I had friends whose homes were like mine. One of the gals with whom I became very friendly was Regina. I marvelled at her big family and would delight in sleeping over her home. Of course, when I would get ready to go to sleep, I would tell her that my tongue was too big for my mouth. I have no clue why I said that, but even today, she reminds me of it! She lives in new Mexico, but we still maintain our friendship which I cherish.At home, we were very observant of the major Jewish holidays and festivals. How I remember getting new clothes so I could proudly wear them for the High Holy days. I loved sitting next to my parents and snuggling next to my dad when the sermons became just a little long. We would go to my maternal grandmother's to celebrate the New year and eat her imber, taglach, apples dipped in honey, sour cream coffee cake and other delicasies that heralded the New Year. Unfortuantely, I have never been able to duplicate those delectable delights. When my grandmother got much older, my mother took on the task of preparing for the holidays. Visions of her beautifully set tables and delicious foods still dance before my eyes. For Shabbat, my mother would stand and hold her hands to her eyes as she kindled the Shabbat candles and recited the requisite prayers. When grandchildren were born, she added a third candle. The candle sticks were from her mother and my father's mother; I still use them today. Passover was and still is a favorite holiday. My dad would sit at the head of the table and conduct the Service. Woe be to the person who was not following along in his or her Haggadah since each of us would be called on at random. Yet, our Seder was not a solemn one; it was filled with songs lustily sung and poems rapidly read. Today, those Haggadahs are dog-eared; the pages have been lovingly caressed with fingers that have been stained with wine or spotted with horse radish or charoses, imparting indelible memories to every page. Yes, we still use the same Haggadas...we would not think of changing...and we still sing the same songs. But I must admit the decorum is not the same. We laugh a little more, read a little more quickly and skip a few more pages. In addition, we are not dreesed up - we are in casual clothes. Back when I was young, my dad wore a tie and jacket, as did my boys; the women wore suits or dresses. Even with all the celebrations of the Jewish holidays and even though we celebrated Chanukah, lit the menorah and received presents for each night, I still felt left out when Christmas rolled around. I remember once making Christmas stockings, hanging them by the fireplace and filling them with some things. I don't think my parents were too happy!!!
My brother, Jeff, and I were pretty close as kids. We would really bond when we would take family trips each April vacation and then one summer, my whole family traveled across the country during an 8 week period. What fun that was! What great memories! Jeff, though, was much more cerebral than I. Many times, he would be upstairs in his room reading different novels, the National Geographic, or the Scientific American, magazines that I would merely glance at. I would have my frieds over to the house; he would have his friends. Since he was 3 years ahead of me at school, I really did not interact with his friends, nor he with mine. I played, or attempted to play the piano and the accordian. He played the clarinet. Our household was more rigid than the households today. We had to ask to be excused from the table. When friends of our parents would come, Jeff and I would go upstairs to our rooms. We did not mingle with the adults. In our eyes, our parents were really on a pedestal. We obeyed them; we would not think to do otherwise! I really don't remember ojur home being filled with that much laughter from our friends and us. We kept a much lower profile than my kids did. Our parents were older and perhaps they just didn't want that much noise and confusion so they quelled it rather than encouraged it. Actuallly, I found our street to be a lonely street. No kids my age were on our street and I lived at the bottom of our street in a cul-de-sac. There were no games played in the middle of the street. Since our badckyard was big, we would play croquet and coits there. In addition, my dad had a huge garden that he truly enjoyed. His plants were all in a straight line. It was truly amazing! I still remember the delicious tomatoes, rhubarb, carrots and other bvegetables that would find their way from the garden to our plates.
Elementary schools were different from the elementary schools today. No one got bussed; we all trudged along unless the weather was very inclement and then our parents would drive us. Everyone went home for lunch. I remember hurrying home so I could watch "Love of "I Remember Mama" was one of my favorite shows that I would watch religiously. Most mothers did not work so there was no need to have children eat lunch in school. During our recesses, the girls would play hopscotch, jump rope or perhaps marbles with the boys. Girls did not wear long pants to school. Dresses and skirts were expected and donned. In each classroom, there were different level reading groups, but otherwise everyone learned together. No one had a calculator to use. Mathematical facts were taught by rote. The teacher would stand in front of the class with flash cards and we would quickly shout out the answer. Math games were played and we all became quite proficient with addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. In addition to the major subjects, we had gym, art and penmanship. A woman would come into our classroom one day a week to teach us how to write correctly! I still remember it was called the Reinhart Method and the woman would stand at the chalk board and show us exactly how to cursively construct each letter. Besides these classes, we also had banking. When I was in 5th grade, I was asked to be a teller; the students would come with their money and bankbooks and I would make sure the appropriate amounts were recorded in their books. When I was in 5th and 6th grade, I participated on a basketball team. In those days, the girls could only run half court and when I would take out the ball, I would have to put one foot up against the wall.
I would invite some friend over to play after school or I would go to their homes. At times we would havesleepovers. I remember once my mother made sleeping hats for all the girls and we all slept downstairs in the finsished basement! Many times I would sleep at my friend, Bab's home. Babs and I were good friends. She was Jewish, too, so we shared traditions. Each morning she would meet me at the top of my street and we would ride our bikes to school together. We are still in touch with each other.
After spending 3rd through 6th grades at Converse Street School, I went to Longmeadow Junior High School. During those years, I remember with dismay Mr. Ryder's Dancing School. I mean you just had to be a member of it or you were nothing...and truth be told, I couldn't be a member. I was Jewish and Jewish children were not invited! Well, for whatever reason, a few of us Jews were finally allowed into the hallowed ranks. I remember feeling so included. After all, I was only 12 and at 12 one needed to belong. Actually, I still rember those dancing classes. The girls would be all dressed up and wear gloves. The boys would wear suits. The girls would stand on one side of the room and the boys on the other. Then, the boys would come over and ask one of the girls to dance. It was actually unnerving to stand there and wonder if anyone were going to pick you! Junior High consisted of 7th and 8th grades. Unlike elementary school, we had a homeroom and then we would go to different teachers for our various subjects. When I was in 8th grade, they had a special division called Divsion 8-4 to which I was invited. Students in that division were handpicked and the work was accelerated. School was probably about 2 miles from my house; there were no busses so I walked. I played the accordian (not well) in the band and I remember carrying it to school and home even in inclement weather! During those years, the Jewish people "ghettoized" themselves so many of my friends still lived in Springfield and most of us would congregate at the Jewish Community Center. A group of gals formed a club called the QTPies. We had little beanies that were yellow and gold and met at the Center. Since I attended religious school at Sinai Temple, I made many friendships there. It was at religious school and at the Center that I felt I was in a safe haven. There I was just me; there I had friends whose homes were like mine. One of the gals with whom I became very friendly was Regina. I marvelled at her big family and would delight in sleeping over her home. Of course, when I would get ready to go to sleep, I would tell her that my tongue was too big for my mouth. I have no clue why I said that, but even today, she reminds me of it! She lives in new Mexico, but we still maintain our friendship which I cherish.At home, we were very observant of the major Jewish holidays and festivals. How I remember getting new clothes so I could proudly wear them for the High Holy days. I loved sitting next to my parents and snuggling next to my dad when the sermons became just a little long. We would go to my maternal grandmother's to celebrate the New year and eat her imber, taglach, apples dipped in honey, sour cream coffee cake and other delicasies that heralded the New Year. Unfortuantely, I have never been able to duplicate those delectable delights. When my grandmother got much older, my mother took on the task of preparing for the holidays. Visions of her beautifully set tables and delicious foods still dance before my eyes. For Shabbat, my mother would stand and hold her hands to her eyes as she kindled the Shabbat candles and recited the requisite prayers. When grandchildren were born, she added a third candle. The candle sticks were from her mother and my father's mother; I still use them today. Passover was and still is a favorite holiday. My dad would sit at the head of the table and conduct the Service. Woe be to the person who was not following along in his or her Haggadah since each of us would be called on at random. Yet, our Seder was not a solemn one; it was filled with songs lustily sung and poems rapidly read. Today, those Haggadahs are dog-eared; the pages have been lovingly caressed with fingers that have been stained with wine or spotted with horse radish or charoses, imparting indelible memories to every page. Yes, we still use the same Haggadas...we would not think of changing...and we still sing the same songs. But I must admit the decorum is not the same. We laugh a little more, read a little more quickly and skip a few more pages. In addition, we are not dreesed up - we are in casual clothes. Back when I was young, my dad wore a tie and jacket, as did my boys; the women wore suits or dresses. Even with all the celebrations of the Jewish holidays and even though we celebrated Chanukah, lit the menorah and received presents for each night, I still felt left out when Christmas rolled around. I remember once making Christmas stockings, hanging them by the fireplace and filling them with some things. I don't think my parents were too happy!!!
My brother, Jeff, and I were pretty close as kids. We would really bond when we would take family trips each April vacation and then one summer, my whole family traveled across the country during an 8 week period. What fun that was! What great memories! Jeff, though, was much more cerebral than I. Many times, he would be upstairs in his room reading different novels, the National Geographic, or the Scientific American, magazines that I would merely glance at. I would have my frieds over to the house; he would have his friends. Since he was 3 years ahead of me at school, I really did not interact with his friends, nor he with mine. I played, or attempted to play the piano and the accordian. He played the clarinet. Our household was more rigid than the households today. We had to ask to be excused from the table. When friends of our parents would come, Jeff and I would go upstairs to our rooms. We did not mingle with the adults. In our eyes, our parents were really on a pedestal. We obeyed them; we would not think to do otherwise! I really don't remember ojur home being filled with that much laughter from our friends and us. We kept a much lower profile than my kids did. Our parents were older and perhaps they just didn't want that much noise and confusion so they quelled it rather than encouraged it. Actuallly, I found our street to be a lonely street. No kids my age were on our street and I lived at the bottom of our street in a cul-de-sac. There were no games played in the middle of the street. Since our badckyard was big, we would play croquet and coits there. In addition, my dad had a huge garden that he truly enjoyed. His plants were all in a straight line. It was truly amazing! I still remember the delicious tomatoes, rhubarb, carrots and other bvegetables that would find their way from the garden to our plates.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
September 12, 2008
What a journey my life has been and looking back, I don't think I would have changed much of it. After all, the happenings along the way have molded me into the person I am today. I was born in Springfield, MA. My parents, Abe and Edna Simons, were a handsome couple. Abe, 8 1/2 years older than my mother, was over 6 feet tall, athletic, muscular, energetic and a workaholic. In partnership with his older brother, Sam, Abe ran a successful insurance agency and was able to provide well for his family. He had a booming voice and would often greet you with "Greetings and Salutations!" Interacting with people of all ages brought him enormous pleasure. He would always have a story to relate and a joke to tell. Sometimes you waited for the punchline, only to realize it was already given. Yes, the jokes were not always funny, but I laughed anyway! Edna was a striking woman. Never wearing much makeup, Edna was still beautiful and reminded me a little of Katharine Hepburn. Edna had very long hair that she would wear in a bun. Rarely did we see her hair down. She was prim and proper; I never really heard her swear! She loved to cook and do creative things. Knitting, crocheting, making hooked rugs and weaving were some of her specialties. Over the years she created wonderful meals and beautiful items! Many of her items adorn my home and my children's home. Religion was very important to my parents. Along with his older brother, Sam, my father helped found Sinai Temple, a reform synagogue. There he taught Sunday School, was president of the Brotherhood and was very active in the Temple's happenings. My mother and father would participate in many of the Temple's social events. My brother and I attended Sunday School, my brother was Bar Mitzvahed, and both of us were confirmed. There were no questions asked about attending; it was expected and we went. Every Friday night, we would pick up my Grandma Simons, my paternal grandmother, and take her to Temple. I remember how caring my father was to his mother. He would talk to her every day on the phone and usually stop by her home if only for a few minutes. She was a big woman, a wonderful cook, and had a strong personality. She lived upstairs in a two family home on Whittier Street. Her home was immaclate. I don't think she would have allowed it to have been otherwise. We would go to her home for dinner; she kept Kosher and I still remember wanting butter on my potatoes, but of course, that was not to be! Conjuring up her knises and coconut squares still make me salivate!Her husband, Joe, a tailor, died when I was about 3 so I really have no recollection of him.My other grandmother, Grandma Cohen, was tiny and a lot of fun. She loved to bake and play cards. Because of her stature, my brother and I would lovingly call her "Shrimpy". Often, I would sleep at her house. She lived in the upstairs of a two family home on West Alvord Street. When I would go there, I would play with her jewelry and often wear her diamond wedding band. When she died, I was given her wedding band which I still wear proudly.
Her husband, Sam, died when I was 3 so I have no real recollection of him. Both sets of grandparents were from the "old country" and preferred to speak in Yiddish. Since I really wanted to know what they were discussing, I listened and learned to understand bits and pieces of the language. To this day, I am filled with a sweet nostalgia when I hear such phrases as shana maidel, es mein kind, trug ashund tirait.
From kindergarten through 2nd grade, I attended Washington Street School which was right up the street from where I lived. Friendly with many children in the neighborhood, I always had a lot to do. My cousin, Stephen, who is almost exactly my age, lived right down the street from me. Together, we would play and get into trouble. I remember his lasooing me one day because we were playing cowboys. Another time, I remember sitting in the middle of the road and picking up the tar bubbles, rolling them up and chewing them as if they were gum.
When I was in 3rd grade, we moved to Longmeadow. My dad had bought property with Lester Wernick. Together, they created a street, called it Briarcliff Road, and built houses next to one another. The Wernicks and my family really bonded. A matter of fact, the Wernicks became my second family; Sylvia and Lester were my surrogate parents. A delightful couple, they would gfreet us when my brother and I would run next door. We would regale them with our daily happenings and revel in the kudos they would invariably give us. My folks, on the other hand, were scant with their praise. Interestingly, they would tell others how proud they were of us, yet they would rarely share their pride with us. So the Wernicks were the ones who truly made us feel special. Their three children, Leslie, Andy, and Jane became like our younger siblings. As often as we would go to their home, they would come to ours. They loved to watch my mother cook and would delight in her baked goods.
Her husband, Sam, died when I was 3 so I have no real recollection of him. Both sets of grandparents were from the "old country" and preferred to speak in Yiddish. Since I really wanted to know what they were discussing, I listened and learned to understand bits and pieces of the language. To this day, I am filled with a sweet nostalgia when I hear such phrases as shana maidel, es mein kind, trug ashund tirait.
From kindergarten through 2nd grade, I attended Washington Street School which was right up the street from where I lived. Friendly with many children in the neighborhood, I always had a lot to do. My cousin, Stephen, who is almost exactly my age, lived right down the street from me. Together, we would play and get into trouble. I remember his lasooing me one day because we were playing cowboys. Another time, I remember sitting in the middle of the road and picking up the tar bubbles, rolling them up and chewing them as if they were gum.
When I was in 3rd grade, we moved to Longmeadow. My dad had bought property with Lester Wernick. Together, they created a street, called it Briarcliff Road, and built houses next to one another. The Wernicks and my family really bonded. A matter of fact, the Wernicks became my second family; Sylvia and Lester were my surrogate parents. A delightful couple, they would gfreet us when my brother and I would run next door. We would regale them with our daily happenings and revel in the kudos they would invariably give us. My folks, on the other hand, were scant with their praise. Interestingly, they would tell others how proud they were of us, yet they would rarely share their pride with us. So the Wernicks were the ones who truly made us feel special. Their three children, Leslie, Andy, and Jane became like our younger siblings. As often as we would go to their home, they would come to ours. They loved to watch my mother cook and would delight in her baked goods.
Friday, September 12, 2008
September 12, 2008
I decided to join the 21st century and have a blog. I mean I am not really over the hill. Some days I feel as if I have reached the summit and am starting my decline. Yet, other days I feel I am just beginning my ascent. Of course when I pass by a mirror and catch a glimpse, although I try not to do that too often, I am shocked at how they don't make mirrors like they used to any more!!! I look at the lines, I look at the gray and I realize I have earned them. I have travelled the road of life, seen so much, and the happenings have left their mark, so I wear my wrinkles and gray proudly. They define me as a person. Musing back on mhy life, I am keenly aware of all I have learned. From misfortune has come fortune. From choices have come consequences. From just being has come growing. I have been so fortunate to have a loving husband who puts up with this A type personality! There is certainly never a dull molment. I am constantly multi-tasking - and the tasks make for a chaos of papers all over the house. Not only have I been blessed with a loving husband, but also I have been blessed with three incredible sons, Andy, Jon and Dan, who are constantly a source of pride. They are caring, loving, industrious and bright. Having chosen wonderful mates, Ruth, Dorothy, and Dawn, they have given me the daughters I never had. Each has a family, so I am blessed with 7 grandchildren and one more is on the way. The 5 granddaughters are delightful and not having had any girls, I am truly enjoying interacting with them, buying them clothes, baking with them, doing their hair and of course pollishing their nails. The 2 grandsons are wonderful. They are very active, love their trucks and are constantly in motion. Of course, let me not forget my dog, Stanley. He is a Springer Spaniel, 12 years old and absolutely adorable. He follows me all over the house and enjoys jogging with me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
